De-schooling: Learning to Let Go and Trust the Process

De-schooling, it almost seems like a naughty word doesn’t it? like you are deliberately rebelling from the correct way of learning, which we are lead to believe, is going to mainstream school

De-schooling, isn’t naughty though, it is a common process that happens when transitioning from traditional schooling to homeschooling. It’s that messy, uncomfortable, yet incredibly transformative phase where you start unlearning everything you thought education had to be—and start discovering what learning can be.

We've been homeschooling while traveling Australia for a year now. Our kids left mainstream schooling—just as we did as parents—and while I’m still figuring out what works best for them, I’m gradually realigning my approach to education.

Two Books, Two Mindsets

To me, these two books symbolize that transition.

The old me would have insisted my 7-year-old read Ella Diaries—a challenging novel that would "prove" she was at the right level, reassuring me that I was succeeding as a homeschooling parent.

But the book she chooses is Good Night, Sleep Tight. She loves it, knows it almost by heart, and reads it purely for the joy of the story.

The old me would have pushed Ella—because her peers would be reading it, because it would challenge her, because it would validate that she was keeping up.

But the new me values her relationship with reading more than arbitrary levels. I want her to associate books with enjoyment, not pressure. Learning is a long game.

A year out of the competition and leveling system, and we’re all so much happier—not just the kids, but us too.

Beyond Books: A Shift in Learning as a Whole

But this mindset shift hasn’t just been about books—it’s changed how we approach all learning.

The old me insisted they complete a full page of schoolwork, even when they resisted. Before we could do anything fun in the day, they had to finish at least two or three English and math lessons on IXL. It was painful—for them and for me.

They were reluctant. Defiant. I was frustrated. And, if I’m honest, it started affecting our relationship. Looking back, that makes me really sad.

The new me? I’m right there with them, guiding them through their work. If they’re struggling, we pause. If they’re not feeling it, we shift gears. I reduce the pressure as much as possible and trust the process of hands-on learning through our traveling adventures.

And you know what? They’re still learning—more than ever, actually.

Maddie and Ari worked together to build this creation. The instructions were to construct a building and they did just that, they even had a Crain and water fountain. They loved this doing this activity so much and really listened to each others ideas and compromised beautifully, when needed.

Trusting the Process

I’ve learned that kids will learn at their own pace, in their own time—if they’re given the space to do so. Our role as parents isn’t to force learning but to cultivate an environment where it can happen naturally.

That means:
✅ Good books that interest them
✅ Exciting excursions that spark curiosity
✅ In-depth discussions about topics that matter to them and the world around them.

That’s real learning. That’s where the magic happens.

A Journey We Never Planned—But Wouldn’t Trade

I still love the school my kids attended and the community we had there—we miss it a lot. We didn’t set out to homeschool; it happened because of our traveling lifestyle. But it has been such a gift to our family.

If you’re just starting out on this journey, my advice?

Be the new me.

Let your kids take the lead in their learning. Let them choose what interests them. Let them pick the books that excite them. If I had done this sooner, we could have avoided so much heartache in those early days.

Trust the process. It’s worth it.